The Truth About Compassion Fatigue and How to Recover
Let me just say this: in grad school and higher education, compassion fatigue is talked about, but we aren’t actually educated on it. We’re told not to get it (as if that’s a choice), and if we do have it, to “seek help immediately.” But no one really explains what it actually is or what we can do about it ourselves. Just my humble opinion, and I don’t think that’s enough.
If you’re a helper (i.e. therapist, social worker, nurse, teacher, caretaker) then you’ve probably heard about compassion fatigue. So let’s get honest: knowing the term doesn’t protect you from living it.
Compassion fatigue isn't just being tired or needing a weekend off. It's the deep emotional and physical exhaustion that builds up over time when you're constantly caring for others. You might start to feel numb, irritable, withdrawn, or even resentful. Things that once lit you up start to feel like chores. You find yourself snapping at loved ones, feeling guilty for needing space, or scrolling for hours instead of sleeping. Sound familiar? I figured.
You’re not broken. You’re not selfish. You’re human. And this is compassion fatigue.
What Compassion Fatigue Really Looks Like
Compassion fatigue can sneak up subtly. You may notice:
Feeling overwhelmed or helpless in your role
Dreading work that used to feel meaningful
Struggling to empathize with clients, patients, or students
Physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or insomnia
Increased cynicism, irritability, or emotional numbness
And perhaps most painfully there is this loss of joy in things that used to matter.
A lot of us mistake this for burnout or assume it’s just “part of the job.” But compassion fatigue has its own rhythm, its own roots. It comes from caring deeply, over and over, without enough space to refill yourself.
Why Traditional Self-Care Isn’t Enough
We’ve all heard it ( I heard it too): “Take a bubble bath.” “Drink more water.” “Treat yourself.”
But here's the truth: self-care isn’t the same as healing.
Yes, rest matters. But what many of us need is deeper (so much deeper) soul-level restoration, emotional processing, and a reconnection to ourselves.
Self-care that actually heals compassion fatigue means moving from survival mode to intentional recovery. It’s not just about putting your feet up, but about re-learning how to be with yourself in a way that feels safe, nurturing, and sustainable.
5 Pathways to Real Recovery
Here are five practical, honest ways to start healing from compassion fatigue:
1. Reclaim Your Story
Compassion fatigue can make your work feel like a burden instead of a calling. One powerful step in healing is to reconnect with your “why.” What led you to this work? What values still matter to you underneath the exhaustion?
Sometimes, it helps to write it down. Not a resume or a mission statement but your story. The real one. Let yourself grieve the parts that hurt and remember the parts that sparked your fire.
2. Feel What You’ve Been Avoiding
Many of us suppress our own emotional pain to make room for others’. But unprocessed grief, rage, disappointment, and helplessness? They don’t disappear they live in your body.
Recovery starts with permission to feel, especially the “ugly” stuff. Journaling, movement, therapy, and EMDR can all help here. You deserve your own care and attention just as much as your clients do.
3. Find Regenerative Relationships
Not all connection is healing. Some drains you more. Recovery involves seeking out mutual, affirming relationshipswhere you’re not the fixer.
These could be peer supervision groups, creative communities, or just honest friendships where you can say, “I’m not okay” without being judged.
4. Redefine Rest
Rest isn’t just sleep. It’s mental, emotional, and spiritual rest. That might mean setting boundaries at work, taking intentional breaks from screens, or letting go of the pressure to always be productive.
Start asking yourself: What kind of rest do I need right now? And honor the answer, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
5. Move Toward What Feels Alive
You don’t need a whole new career. But you do need things in your life that feel like yours—activities that give more than they take.
Start small. A new creative project. Reclaiming your weekends. Returning to music, movement, or laughter. Compassion fatigue thrives in a life that’s all output and no input. So find your inputs again.
Compassion fatigue is real, but it’s not permanent. You don’t have to quit your job or numb yourself to keep going. Healing is possible—and you’re allowed to want more than just making it through the day.
You deserve a life that’s not just about helping others, but also about honoring your own humanity.
You don’t have to do it alone.
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