Am I Doing EMDR Right?
“Am I Doing EMDR Right?”
What to know when EMDR feels weird or confusing (because it often does).
If you’ve ever sat in the therapist’s chair thinking,
“Is this working?”
“Am I doing this wrong?”
“Is it supposed to feel like… this?”
You are definitely not alone.
Welcome to EMDR: the healing modality that’s powerful, evidence-based, and also… kind of strange.
Whether you’re a client or a therapist, it’s totally normal to feel disoriented by the process—especially in the beginning. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) doesn’t always look like traditional talk therapy, and that can make it feel confusing. There’s less talking. More noticing. Sometimes you leave a session feeling lighter, sometimes heavier, and sometimes like nothing happened at all.
Let’s be real: EMDR is not a tidy, linear process. It’s not supposed to be.
What EMDR actually looks like
EMDR involves recalling a distressing memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation (BLS)—usually in the form of eye movements, taps, or tones. The idea is to help the brain reprocess that memory so it’s no longer stuck in a distressing loop.
Sounds simple. But the internal experience? Not so simple.
Clients often report:
Random memories popping up that seem totally unrelated
Feeling “blank” or “numb” during BLS
Crying one minute and laughing the next
Wondering if they’re “doing it wrong” because they don’t feel emotional
A vague sense of What the hell just happened?
All of that is normal. In fact, it’s expected.
"But I don’t feel better yet…”
Therapy doesn’t always follow a neat upward trajectory, and EMDR is no exception. You might feel a huge shift after one session. Or you might need time and multiple passes through a target memory to notice change. Sometimes things feel worse before they feel better. That doesn’t mean it’s not working—it means your brain is doing the hard work of reorganizing how it holds distress.
As this Self.com article reminds us, one way to know therapy is working is by looking at how you respond to situations outside of session. Are you noticing subtle shifts in your reactions, your self-talk, your triggers? That’s EMDR at work—even if it doesn’t feel dramatic in the moment.
“My client didn’t cry… did I do it wrong?”
Therapists, I see you too.
It’s easy to second-guess yourself, especially when your client reports neutral or confusing experiences during BLS. But remember: emotional intensity isn’t the only marker of effectiveness. Some clients process very somatically. Others intellectualize. Some report no felt sense at all in session, but come back the next week with surprising shifts in behavior, dreams, or mood.
This work often happens under the surface. That doesn’t mean it’s not working—it means it’s working in the way the client’s nervous system needs it to.
Trust the process (even when it’s weird)
Through trainings I’ve heard EMDR reprocessing can feel “strange, intense, and sometimes anticlimactic.” But when done with attunement and care, it can also be deeply transformative.
So if you find yourself thinking,
“Is this how it’s supposed to go?”
just know: if it feels messy, nonlinear, and slightly bizarre—you’re probably doing it right.
At Fostering Fortitude, we specialize in providing personalized, evidence-based treatment for the unique challenges faced by high-performers and driven individuals. Whether you're grappling with perfectionism, people-pleasing tendencies, debilitating stress and burnout, or the lingering effects of trauma and PTSD, our practice in Dublin, Ohio is here to help you cultivate greater inner strength and resilience. Utilizing cutting-edge techniques like EMDR therapy, somatic interventions, and other evidence-based approaches, we'll work closely to address the deep-rooted issues underlying your struggles. We are experts merging the latest scientific research on stress, trauma, and relationships with a compassionate, client-centered approach. Schedule a free consultation.
